Hi! How's it going? Is it OK if I call you Mike? Great. Anyway, Mike, I read you had something to say about marriage. Something like this:
Well, I don’t think that’s a radical view to say we’re going to affirm marriage. I think the radical view is to say that we’re going to change the definition of marriage so that it can mean two men, two women, a man and three women, a man and a child, a man and animal.
Oh, Mike, Mike, Mike. Have you been hanging out with Rick Santorum? He didn't get reelected, you know. Also, changing the definition of marriage to mean a man and animal would be radical - I'll agree with you there! (also, nice possible swipe at Romney with the "a man and three women" bit; very clever!) But I don't think anyone is seriously arguing for that. I also had a feeling that, were I a major candidate for the Democratic presidential nomination and I said something grouping in Christianity with Judaism, Islam, Scientology, and David Koresh-ism, I would be flame-roasted by the media even if I wasn't directly comparing them.
Since apparently there's some confusion on this point, let me give it to you straight, Mike ("straight" - get it?) - I am gay and I don't want the right to get married to/have sex with animals. Can we please stop equating the two?